LOL, SAHM, WTH?

Not only are we adding an additional family member this fall, there are also some other changes that have been brewing in the Barbeauld household.  After much thinking, pondering, crying, worrying and praying, I have decided to become at stay at home mom starting in September. 

That last sentence is something that I thought I would never write, in fact, if you had told me I would be writing this blog entry 5 years ago, I would have laughed at you.  Everything changed when I had Aubrey.  When I was pregnant with Aubs, I requested and generously received a 6 month leave from work, and in that 6 months I found, much to my surprise, that I didn’t need work as much as I thought I did, in fact, I didn’t miss it at all.  Honestly it scared me a little, but while I found that while working gave me a little break from the constant work that was caring for Aubrey, I missed her a ton and started to feel like I was missing out on her life.  During busy season, it only got worse, and when we discovered that we would be adding to our family in March, it became unbearable.  Add that to Joey being out of town quite often for work and the decision became very clear. I need to be home with my babies while I can.

While I was making my final decision on coming back to work, one of the reasons was that I wanted to make sure that I would have no regrets about staying home.  Yes, there will be days where I will miss having hot meals and adult interaction, there are so many more years down the road to enjoy those things, there are a very few number of years to enjoy those baby smiles and the excitement of your little one accomplishing something big or just giving you a hug for no reason. 

While I will no longer worry about missing out on my kids’ lives, there are now other things to worry about.  Money for one – thankfully Joey has a great job that will allow me to stay at home with way less sacrifice than I would have expected.  Another question I have pondered is will my kids have it better than I had growing up?  When I was little, I thought that the rich kids had side by side fridges and access to the Disney Channel, and thankfully those are two things that we will be able to provide our children, as well as everything that they need - not always new, but they will have what they need for sure.  :)

Finally, there’s the question of how can a career girl hang all that up to spend her days covered in spit up and jelly.  I don’t know the answer to that one right now, but I’m hoping that everything will fall into place.  Actually, I know it will because this is exactly what I’m meant to do right now.  I also have the awesome benefits of a family that lives here in town and a great group of mom friends that I will be hanging out with regularly. 

I very much understand that I am very lucky to be able to stay at home with my babies, and to all those full time working moms out there, I salute you.  I just couldn't cut it as a working mom, and I very much admire and love you all.

Will I eventually get back into the workforce?  Yes, of course, just not where I was before these little blessings came into my life.  My priorities are so different now, sometimes I wonder how I became and enjoyed that person that I was.  I guess I did enjoy that life, but this one is so much richer. 

Wish me luck!