2U2 Musings – Newborn edition

With this being the second time that I am caring for a newborn, I have found that the second child is a much different experience than the first child.  Yes, I know we have heard that all children are different, but I have also found that this time around that I am different as well, which affects how I approach caring for Nick and Aubrey now that there are 2 of these little ones around.  A friend of mine posted about tips for 2 under 2 and it got me thinking about the differences between my two kids and what I have noticed on my own 2U2 journey.  Here are a few things I have noticed from taking the newborn journey a second time and doing it with a very inquisitive and hilarious toddler.

Aubs loves her water table, which has been winterized with beans

 

1.       You can put your newborn down –Newborns sleep a lot, way more than I remember from the first time.   I find myself wondering what I was doing while Aubrey was in this stage.  I remember sitting on the couch for hours on end, just letting her sleep on me and watching reruns of Gilmore Girls and Everyone Loves Raymond and not getting anything done around the house.  This time around, I am more confident in laying Nick in the swing or the sleeper so I can chase Aubrey or read her a book or get the floor mopped or to just sit down and breathe.  By the way, it’s a lot easier to clean the house when a toddler isn’t around "helping" you by "accidentially" beating you with a broom handle and throwing a dust pan at your face. 

2.       Savor the “newborn-ness” – In the midst of all of this "getting things done", I have had to tell myself to sit down and let Nick sleep on me sometimes like Aubrey used to since I can’t get those hours on end back.  I put Aubrey down for her nap by laying with her and Nick and reading books, which is the best part of my day.  I try to soak in the squishy-ness of it all and enjoy it while I can, because soon he will be a toddler too, in cahoots with Aubs and running around throwing things and climbing on my kitchen table and I will have to go back to my memories of my sweet little babies to keep from blowing a gasket or just melting into a puddle of tears in the floor.

3.       Use your village – Your village can be parents, grandparents, friends or teenagers down the street (trustworthy ones of course).  As a mom you need a ton of help physically and emotionally.  New moms need to know basic mechanics and tricks of the trade for their new little ones, and second time moms need coping strategies and the occasional extra set of hands.   All moms need a break every now and then, even if you just need to get to the store for a gallon on milk for an hour or two…alone.

4.       Take time for yourself – Last week when I ran out to Joey’s office to drop off food for the community kitchen while my mother in law watched the kiddos, I realized that I hadn’t been completely alone in 5 weeks.  Yes, I had gone out with my mom or Joey without the kids, but I hadn’t been totally by myself.  I realized how important it is just to be with your own thoughts, even if it’s just for a half hour. I guess this is the only child in me coming out, but I cherish my alone time.  Before kids, I took that time for granted, and now I do what I can to savor that time and get centered so that I can be the best me for the kiddos and Joey.

5.       Hormones are a b**** - Now that I’m at the 6 week mark, my hormones are starting to even out and I’m beginning to feel like myself again.  There’s a rough 2-3 week period where you are no longer running on new baby happiness and you are dealing with a toddler and your hormones aren’t quite back yet, and you feel like a crazy monster and you are just tired of yelling and crying all the time.  Well, I did anyway, so now that things are getting back to normal, I’m in a much better (less weepy & fuming) place. 

6.       You’re doing it right – I read an interesting article the other day that was very encouraging.  The basic premise was that as parents, we need to provide food, shelter and love to our babies, and as long as you have those covered, you are doing just fine.  It doesn’t matter how you do these things, just that you are doing them.  Moms are held to such high standards today and are expected to do it all without any help or support.   I know I personally have felt like a failure on serveral occaisons when I haven't met the supermom standard that is set by society. Worst of all, it seems like moms like to turn against each other and can be downright hateful when someone doesn’t agree with them or their parenting style.  I say all of this to say that as long as you and your family are happy and healthy (the majority of the time of course, let's be realistic), you are doing it right.

Those are my thoughts on 2U2 so far, and I am trying to gain more insight every day.  It’s getting easier right now, and I know it will get hard again, but I feel like we made the right decision to have kids so close together.  There’s something special about the combination of a toddler and a newborn that can be frustrating at times, but can also be magical and amazing as you see that bond forming between your kids.

And this is how we feel about the play mat