Like many mothers out there today, I will also struggle with trying to maintain the best “work/life balance” for myself and my family. Joey and I come from families of two extremes. My mom worked full time for my entire childhood, and Joey’s mom stayed at home until Joey was in middle school. When I talked to my grandmother, I found out that she even went back to work full time in the early 50’s! So, when it came to the question of whether or not to stay home or go back to work, I honestly struggled for a couple of months to decide what would be the best for me and my family. I would like to preface this with I respect women who choose staying at home or going back to work, and I am not preferential to either way. I’m a big advocate of making the decision that works for your personality and situation and family.
I have worked since I was 16, and I couldn’t have imagined it any other way. Work is something that I have always valued and I like to think that I have a pretty decent work ethic thanks to the values that my family holds and has passed down to us kids. I worked hard in college to get the education for my career and then worked hard another year and a half studying for and passing the CPA exam while getting my footing at a CPA firm here in town. Now, almost 5 years out of school, I have made this giant life decision that is going to change everything. From the moment I saw the positive pregnancy test, my life was no longer my own. My focus has now shifted completely from “me,Joey,work” to “baby,baby,baby”.
Don’t get me wrong, I am still putting in the long hours until the baby comes (as hard as that is and will be over the next couple months), but I know in May things are going to be drastically different and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to maintain my current work situation with a little one at home, and feel like I was really being there for my family like i want. Joey travels several days out of each month for work and although we have a wonderful support system around us, I want to be a very hands on parent.
I was dreading going to talk to my boss, but I knew that I would have to make some career sacrifices in order to obtain the family life that I’m looking for. Fortunately, I have the option to stay home if I chose, although it would be pretty tight, but still doable. I decided to take 6 months off after Baby Girl gets here and then I will go back part time, which means set hours during busy season and non-busy season times of the year. It will be a big change for me in both the hours worked and the types of work that I’m doing, but I think it will be the best thing for me. It allows me to get some adult time with co-workers and some extra cash for our savings and fun money, and it also allows me some more time at home to soak in every moment of this new little life that we are about to be blessed with. My firm has been more than cooperative and supportive with everything and I’m so grateful that I’m working for such a great place. We have also found great childcare that is affordable and right down the road, so we have definitely been lucky in regards to the plan that we have set in motion.
Even with all the decisions made, I still face a personal struggle in regards to if I am in fact making the right decision. I am notoriously hard on myself in regards to my personal and professional accomplishments (just ask my mom), and jumping off the career track, even to the small extent that I am, is still somewhat distressing. I was raised to be a strong independent woman who could take care of herself, and I find myself losing a little bit of that financial independence and professional identity by stepping back and making my family my main priority. There have been several days lately when I am really into what I’m working on and enjoying the fruits of my labor that I worked at to get to my position, and I get a little sad because I know that it’s all going to change in just a couple of months.
I honestly think it will all be worth it in the end, and I will be happy with my decision, but the not knowing definitely causes a little bit of second guessing on my part. I know it will all work out in the end though, and I’m positive that I can accomplish anything with the wonderful family and friends that I have behind me every step of the way!
I think that you and I were raised very similarly. Anyone that has met you and spoken to you for more than five minutes, knows that you are driven and more than capable. But I applaud you for prioritizing your family from the beginning. I worked for the Lucy's first year and I was constantly at odds with myself. Finally, I decided to stay home and I have to say, though times are tight and I miss a great deal of adult conversation, it was absolutely what I had wanted all along. Of course there will be days when you will think you've made the wrong decision... but each time the small smiles and big hugs come, you'll be so glad you are there for them. :D
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