Charm Bracelet Story

I read this story in "Bringing Up Girls" by Dr. James Dobson, and I just love it.  I hope to give my girl a bracelet like this one day.

The Charm Bracelet
fiction by Sarah Kistler

Sweet 16 had finally come! I never thought I‘d make it. But I did. And it was amazing. My parents threw the birthday party of the century, and I had more people than I could count. The whole day had been awesome. But as I watched the sun begin to set, I knew the best part was soon to come.

It was late in the evening. Confetti had been swept up, helium balloons had started to sag and gift wrap had been folded neatly and tucked away for my mom's later use. As I sat at my window studying the dusky sky, Dad peeked into my room with a smile.

"Ready to go, Sweetie?" he asked.

Was that a trick question? I wondered as I scrambled to my feet. I'd been waiting for this night for five long years, and it was finally here! I was now officially allowed to date!

The plan was for my parents and me to go to my favorite restaurant on the night of my 16th birthday and officiate the agreement, go over standards and discuss rules and such. And now we were finally on our way.

I sat across from my parents in a quiet corner booth. Having just placed our orders, I figured it was time to get on with it. "So. I can go out with any guy I want to, right?" I squealed, hardly able to contain my excitement.

Mom and Dad chuckled. Dad answered, "Well, we agreed to that, didn't we?"

"Sweet!" I exclaimed, doing a little victory dance in my seat. My parents had held me off for years, but now that the time had come, they would let me date any guy I wanted! Of course they knew I had a good relationship with God and wasn't too short on common sense, either.

"Now wait just a second," Mom interrupted with a smile. "You have to agree to a little something yourself."

I was expecting a lecture of some sort, so I was already prepared. "So what do I have to do now?" I asked, leaning forward on my elbows.

"Just open this," Dad answered, producing a small white box. He gave a mysterious smile.

One Little Rule
I hesitated a moment before untying the curly pink ribbon. I slowly opened the lid and saw a beautiful silver bracelet. But not just any bracelet. It was a charm bracelet. And they weren't just any charms. They were gemstones, small but gorgeous. A dozen dainty charms dangled gently.
"Wow." I didn't know what else to say. I wasn't expecting this at all.

"Now you have to understand this isn't just any bracelet," Mom informed me.

"I know," I said. "It's so beautiful!" I studied it closer. There were six small charms alternating with six tinier ones. The smaller ones were a deep blue. Sapphires, I guessed. And the other six were each different. One appeared to be just a rock, one was pink, a white one, a red one, green . . . and was that a diamond?

"This charm bracelet is symbolic," Dad explained, leaning in closer to study it with me. "It represents you and your purity. This is what will guide you through your dating relationships. Your mother and I can only tell you what's right. We can't make you believe it yourself. Hopefully, this will."

I looked up solemnly. "I'm listening."

"This represents the first time you hold a guy's hand," Mom said, pointing to the gray one. "It's just a piece of polished granite. Seemingly cheap, yes, but it's still a part of your bracelet. This is pink quartz." She gently rubbed the next one between her fingers. "It represents your first kiss."
"This green one is an emerald," Dad continued. "This is your first boyfriend. The pearl is the first time you say ‘I love you' to a man other than me."

I giggled. This was so amazing.

"The ruby stands for your first engagement. And the diamond represents the first time you say ‘I do,' " Mom finished.

After letting it all sink in, I cleared my emotion-clogged throat. "What do the six tiny sapphires stand for?" I asked.

"Those are to remind you how beautiful and valuable you are to us and to God," Dad replied. "Now here's the hitch in all this, the one and only rule you'll ever have to follow when it comes to dating."

Only one rule. Sounded good. But little did I know . . .

"Whenever you give one these actions of love-a kiss, an ‘I love you,' a hand to hold-you also have to give the recipient the gem to match."

I must've misunderstood. "I have to give him the gem?"

"You have to give it to him," Mom restated.

I was silent for a moment. I thought they must be joking. But they weren't even thinking of cracking a smile.

"But Daddy!" I suddenly shrieked. "These are insanely expensive! I can't just give them away!"
He gave a soft, loving chuckle. "Did you hear what you just said?"

I thought about it.

"Baby, your purity, your heart, they're far more valuable than a few little rocks. If you can't find it in your heart to give away your little charms, I don't think you should be giving away the things they represent."

I could feel my insides melting, ready to gush out my tear ducts. On the one hand, it made me feel valuable and precious. But on the other, it made me furious. It made no sense. But it would.


Priceless Gems
A few weeks after that night, I was hanging out with my friends at the beach. Chad wouldn't swim because I wouldn't swim. I was more interested in reading than getting caked with sand, and he was more interested in sitting with me than swimming with his buddies. He was sweet. He was cute. And he tried to hold my hand.

I was thrilled for a nanosecond when a certain piece of ugly granite flashed through my mind and made me move out of his reach. I was severely annoyed-annoyed at my parents, annoyed at my bracelet-turned-handcuffs, but most of all, annoyed at myself. I was letting a little rock dominate my romantic life.

I furiously glared at it during the whole embarrassing walk to the bathhouse. But then God hit me upside the head with a shocking epiphany. I couldn't give up my little chunk of granite. It was a part of my bracelet, which in a sense made it a part of me. I wouldn't be whole without it. It wasn't a priceless gem, yet it was still valuable. It made sense after that.

Kevin came along eventually. We had fun. We hung out a lot. I thought I might love him. I thought I might tell him so. I thought of my pearl. It turned out that I didn't love him as much as I thought I did.

So my parents had been right. They couldn't make me believe the things they wanted me to believe. So they let God and my bracelet do the work instead. Among the four of them, I figured out how valuable I was. How valuable my purity was. How not valuable guys were who just wasted my time and emotions. If they weren't in it for the whole bracelet, why should they get one part of it?

Nate. He thought my bracelet was awesome. So he never tried to hold my hand. He never tried to kiss me. But he asked me to marry him.

I never knew that so many years of torture could amount to so much happiness. I'd thought it was silly. I'd thought it was overrated. But now, I‘ve never been more glad of anything in my life. As I gave my husband the charm bracelet in its entirety, I wondered why I had found it so hard to hang on to those little rocks when it was so amazing to give them all to the man I truly loved.

But it didn't end there.

Now our daughter wears it.

3 Months Old!

So many new things have happened this month, and it’s so exciting to be able to see all these changes and developments in Baby Girl!  She has recently started laughing and vocalizing, and she’s really starting to develop quite the little personality.  The sweetest thing in the world is when I wake up to her “talking” to the birds on her mobile in the mornings, and to see her huge smile when I go into her room to pick her up.  She has a tiny laugh, so I’m thinking the giggles with start any day now.

On the growth front, she has really started to get some more chubbs on her cheeks and her legs.  According to Dr. Wii Fit Plus J, she’s weighing in at 12 lbs.  We have been on the 6 months PJ’s about a week now.  The 3 month PJ’s were fine width wise, but she’s so long that she was busting out of the feet!

Lately, she has become more accepting to being laid on her tummy and you can tell that she’s going to roll over any time.  When she’s on her back, she will roll to her side.  She just needs to move her arm a little more and she will go right over.  This week, she has also starting grabbing onto toys and putting them in her mouth.   She also likes to grab my finger and suck on it for a little bit, so I’m making sure to wash my hands a ton!

With Aubrey’s 3 month birthday also comes celebration of us continuing our breastfeeding relationship.  While it’s still hard work sometimes, breastfeeding has overall become easier, I had read somewhere that it becomes easier after 8 weeks, and I have definitely found that to be true.  I’m so happy that everything is working out and that Aubrey and I can share in those special moments that only nursing can provide.  Aside from the smiles, my favorite part of motherhood so far has been the great feeling of knowing that I have the ability to provide nourishment for my baby with my body, and that I don’t have to depend on anyone or anything else to feed her, although I do pump to let Joey help out and for when I go to the gym and let Granny take care of her.  That being said, Joey has been a wonderful support in my breastfeeding efforts, and has gotten me through the couple of times that I have wanted to give up.  I am so glad that we have stuck with it, and I definitely plan on continuing breastfeeding for as long as possible.

Should I Stay or Should I Go - Part II

Before I had the baby, I made a post about deciding whether or not to go back to work once I had Aubrey.  The plan was to go back to work part time after taking six months off, and I have decided to stick with that plan.  I’m not 100% ecstatic about it, but the more I think about it, I’m not sure deciding to stay at home would make me totally comfortable either.  While the thought of leaving my baby during the day is nothing short of gut wrenching to me right now (I have spontaneously been bursting into tears this past week just thinking about it), I know that there are some things that need to be done around the house and we also need to be saving up for a new vehicle.  My trusty Scion, although wonderful, will just not be big enough for our future needs.  As much as I would love to stay at home, there are some needs that require a little extra cash that going back to work could provide, without adding the extra stress to my emotions and to my marriage.

I talked to my boss last week, and I have decided to go back the week of November 7^th.  Until January, I will be working 7 hour days 3 days a week and from January to May I will be working 4 days a week.  I feel fairly comfortable with my decision, and I’m praying for strength to be able to go through with what I have decided and to make some peace with the working situation.  Having the days off will give me some time to continue with my Mom’s group at church, and will also allow me to have some extra time to keep my household in order and to schedule doctor appointments and other errands so that I won’t have to miss any work days or feel overwhelmed by my non-work responsibilities.

Like I said before, it’s not my ideal situation, but as a first time mom, I’m not exactly sure what my ideal is.  I’m pretty sure it’s going to take a while to figure it out (if it will ever get figured out), and I know I’m not going to get through it without a few more tears.  Luckily, I have 3 more months to get myself used to this new reality, and with a super supportive husband, family and friends, I know that I don’t have to walk this road alone. 

Carry That Weight

Here we are just shy of Aubrey’s 3 month birthday, and although I have started hitting the gym again and the training for the 5k is going well, I have yet to get my eating habits in sync.  Needless to say, the last 10 pounds aren’t exactly falling off like the first 30 did.  My body is getting closer to pre-pregnancy a little more each day, but I really need to kick it into gear to get to where I want to be for a couple reasons.  1) I would like to not have to buy a whole new wardrobe when I go back to work and 2) I want to get back into pre-pregnancy shape before we decide to add to our family again.  Stop freaking out people, it won’t be any time soon, but it won’t be too far down the road either, but I will post some more about that later.

I have been thinking about joining Weight Watchers, but I just can’t get motivated at all.  You would have thought only being able to fit into 1 pre-preg dress and pair of pants would be motivating, but it just made me want to eat more.   I don’t know why.  I know Weight Watchers has plans for nursing moms, so that’s not the issue.  I guess I’m just not ready to be accountable for my eating habits again.  My weight has always been an issue with me, and I really enjoyed not having to worry about it for once in my life over the past year of being pregnant and these past couple post-partum months.   Maybe I should bite the bullet over these next couple weeks and just go ahead and sign up, or do as my friend Sarah did and just start making the recipes for dinner.  Dinner is usually my most unhealthy meal of the day after all. 

Here’s hoping that I finally get my rear in gear over the next couple of weeks and start dropping a couple of these extra pounds.

Beach Baby!

This past week, we packed up with the Barbeauld clan and headed to Florida for some fun in the sun and a visit with the great-grandparents.  I was leery about getting into the car for a 10 hour drive with a 2 month old, but it really wasn’t that bad.  Aubrey is a real trooper.  We went down to FL over 2 days, but made the entire trip in one day coming back.  She was fine going down there, but she didn’t get really fussy coming back until we were about an hour from home, but then fell asleep at the state line, which is 10 miles from home…

We discovered this week that Baby Girl loves being outside, and she absolutely loved the ocean air, but not the water so much.  When we first went down to the beach, she was fast asleep, and took a decent nap.  We realized later that she took such a long nap because the noise machine that she falls asleep to has an ocean setting!  We got some great pictures, and while we were down with the grandparents, we had professional photos done, Aubrey did wonderfully and I think they might have even gotten a couple smiles.  I can’t wait to see how those turned out! 

2 Months Old! It takes a village…

Aubrey is 2 months old!  The biggest event this week was her 2 month pediatrician visit.  She’s now 10 pounds even and a whopping 23 inches long!  She got her shots, and I have to admit I cried way more than she did.  The doctor said she was perfect, and we got cut loose until our 4 month check-up, which means more shots, but hopefully I won’t be as much of a crying mess as last time.  Afterwards, we got to hang out with Brett and his mom Renee, which was a pleasure as always. 

In regards to development this month, Baby Girl is getting better and better at head control, loves to play with her play mat, and is even rolling to her side on occasion!  The past couple weeks, she has been sleeping longer and longer. 

However, we still aren't exactly crazy about Tummy Time...

We had our usual monthly birthday party this past week by partaking in some brownies and getting to hang out with family.  Also this week, we got to meet up with our instructor from our Bradley classes, as well as our classmates Martha and Ashley, and their baby, Oakley.  It was so great to talk about our birth stories and to play with the babies.  Oakley is so freaking cute!

These past two months have been quite the learning experience, and I have found myself and Aubrey getting into a little groove for our days, and Daddy has become quite the aficionado at bath and bed time at night when he isn’t out of town.  That being said, I have also come to realize the saying “It takes a village to raise a child” is definitely true.  I have no clue what we would do without our families.  Granny, Nana and Papaw have so lovingly given me the opportunity to get back to the gym by watching baby girl and Joey and I even got to have a little date night and left Aubrey with Grandma Helen and Big Daddy Joe.  It’s been great for us to be able to get some time to ourselves and to also give the grandparents and great-grandma a chance to spend some time with their favorite girl. 

My doctor had encouraged me to get out and make sure I did get some alone time and to also let go and realize that while I am the main person in Baby Girl’s life right now, I do need to be able to let go and let other people take care of her and enjoy her as much as I do.  I found myself getting anxious about it at first and worrying that I was a bad mom for not spending every hour of every day with Aubrey, but at the end of the day, I realized that including my family in the raising of my child and letting her be around as many people as possible is beneficial to both her and myself.  So, that being said, I want to shout a huge THANK YOU to our family for being there for us and for loving our sweet girl as much as we do.

Budget, Smudget

Since Joey and I got married, we have enjoyed the perks of a lifestyle of a couple with double income and no kids, which meant going wherever, whenever and not really paying attention to where our money went. Boy how things have changed in the past couple of months.  Since I decided to reduce my hours when I go back to work in November, we have decided to trim a little from the monthly expenses to be able to save more and to for us to be able to go on vacations and to make some additional improvements around the house. 

It really hasn’t been that bad, I must admit.  Yes, there could be more cuts made, but I think we are comfortable with the final product that we have decided on.  I kind of like being on a budget, it actually makes me think about purchases and work hard to find the best deals at various stores and also has encouraged me to even clip a few coupons.  I also got rid of the data plan on my cell phone, which has really helped.

To keep track of our expenses, we have decided to use mint.com.  You can create your own budget and then securely enter your bank information, so that the website can pull in your expenses.  It’s a great tool and really easy to use.  I suggest trying it if you want to get your expenses in line.