My New Career

As I mentioned before, starting at the beginning of August, Joey and I decided that the best thing for our family right now was for me to stay home with the kiddos.  I have to admit that I was terrified at first of the prospect, although I was trying to be positive since I had been struggling with balancing the career that I have had for five years with the becoming a mom, and having a second child was only making it that much harder, even working part time.  At the end of the day, I didn't feel like I was giving enough of myself to anything I was involved in and I just wasn't fulfilled in any aspect of my life.  The days I had off we filled with trying to catch up with the house work and errands and we couldn't ever nail down a good routine.  Even though I felt that working wasn't for me right now, I wasn't sure that staying at home was going to be what would make me happy either.

Over three months into it and I still have no idea how I really feel about the situation.  Being pregnant and having Joey gone for the majority of the time, along with tons of doctor appointments, I have no idea what our new normal is exactly.  I can’t wait until the next couple of months to see how everything goes and to see if I made the best decision, although just from the experience that I have had, I believe I have made the right decision for us right now.  I have been able to experience so many things with Aubrey, and I love watching how she grows and changes every day.  I can’t tell you how wonderful it has been to just lay in bed with her in the afternoons and read books and take a nap or for her to walk in with her doll and show me how she can feed him.  Those are moments that I’m not going to forget and I’m so glad I got the opportunity to have so much more time with just her than I expected.  As many moms of multiple kids know, especially my two under two mamas, you are constantly worried that you are “robbing” the first child of their time with you.  Lately though, as I have seen Aubrey interact with her cousin and other kids, I think having a baby brother will only enhance her childhood and she will be good for him as well.  I can tell she loves her baby brother, and she has already been a huge help with him.

I must say though, as hard as the past couple months have been, I feel happier than I have in a while.  I don’t miss working as much as I thought I would and I have realized that we really don’t spend as much money as I thought we would, which was a huge concern of mine when deciding what to do about work.  There is a lot more time spent at home or going to the park or visiting with family, and a lot more cooking at home.  Getting onto a budget is not nearly as hard as I thought it would be, and my house is cleaner than I expected it to be.  Everyone that knows me knows that is a huge accomplishment! 

Who wouldn't be happy waking up to this in the mornings…

Hopefully next time I post about this, we will be firmly into our new routine and I will actually get to experience what we had initially planned for.