2U2 Musings – Newborn edition

With this being the second time that I am caring for a newborn, I have found that the second child is a much different experience than the first child.  Yes, I know we have heard that all children are different, but I have also found that this time around that I am different as well, which affects how I approach caring for Nick and Aubrey now that there are 2 of these little ones around.  A friend of mine posted about tips for 2 under 2 and it got me thinking about the differences between my two kids and what I have noticed on my own 2U2 journey.  Here are a few things I have noticed from taking the newborn journey a second time and doing it with a very inquisitive and hilarious toddler.

Aubs loves her water table, which has been winterized with beans

 

1.       You can put your newborn down –Newborns sleep a lot, way more than I remember from the first time.   I find myself wondering what I was doing while Aubrey was in this stage.  I remember sitting on the couch for hours on end, just letting her sleep on me and watching reruns of Gilmore Girls and Everyone Loves Raymond and not getting anything done around the house.  This time around, I am more confident in laying Nick in the swing or the sleeper so I can chase Aubrey or read her a book or get the floor mopped or to just sit down and breathe.  By the way, it’s a lot easier to clean the house when a toddler isn’t around "helping" you by "accidentially" beating you with a broom handle and throwing a dust pan at your face. 

2.       Savor the “newborn-ness” – In the midst of all of this "getting things done", I have had to tell myself to sit down and let Nick sleep on me sometimes like Aubrey used to since I can’t get those hours on end back.  I put Aubrey down for her nap by laying with her and Nick and reading books, which is the best part of my day.  I try to soak in the squishy-ness of it all and enjoy it while I can, because soon he will be a toddler too, in cahoots with Aubs and running around throwing things and climbing on my kitchen table and I will have to go back to my memories of my sweet little babies to keep from blowing a gasket or just melting into a puddle of tears in the floor.

3.       Use your village – Your village can be parents, grandparents, friends or teenagers down the street (trustworthy ones of course).  As a mom you need a ton of help physically and emotionally.  New moms need to know basic mechanics and tricks of the trade for their new little ones, and second time moms need coping strategies and the occasional extra set of hands.   All moms need a break every now and then, even if you just need to get to the store for a gallon on milk for an hour or two…alone.

4.       Take time for yourself – Last week when I ran out to Joey’s office to drop off food for the community kitchen while my mother in law watched the kiddos, I realized that I hadn’t been completely alone in 5 weeks.  Yes, I had gone out with my mom or Joey without the kids, but I hadn’t been totally by myself.  I realized how important it is just to be with your own thoughts, even if it’s just for a half hour. I guess this is the only child in me coming out, but I cherish my alone time.  Before kids, I took that time for granted, and now I do what I can to savor that time and get centered so that I can be the best me for the kiddos and Joey.

5.       Hormones are a b**** - Now that I’m at the 6 week mark, my hormones are starting to even out and I’m beginning to feel like myself again.  There’s a rough 2-3 week period where you are no longer running on new baby happiness and you are dealing with a toddler and your hormones aren’t quite back yet, and you feel like a crazy monster and you are just tired of yelling and crying all the time.  Well, I did anyway, so now that things are getting back to normal, I’m in a much better (less weepy & fuming) place. 

6.       You’re doing it right – I read an interesting article the other day that was very encouraging.  The basic premise was that as parents, we need to provide food, shelter and love to our babies, and as long as you have those covered, you are doing just fine.  It doesn’t matter how you do these things, just that you are doing them.  Moms are held to such high standards today and are expected to do it all without any help or support.   I know I personally have felt like a failure on serveral occaisons when I haven't met the supermom standard that is set by society. Worst of all, it seems like moms like to turn against each other and can be downright hateful when someone doesn’t agree with them or their parenting style.  I say all of this to say that as long as you and your family are happy and healthy (the majority of the time of course, let's be realistic), you are doing it right.

Those are my thoughts on 2U2 so far, and I am trying to gain more insight every day.  It’s getting easier right now, and I know it will get hard again, but I feel like we made the right decision to have kids so close together.  There’s something special about the combination of a toddler and a newborn that can be frustrating at times, but can also be magical and amazing as you see that bond forming between your kids.

And this is how we feel about the play mat

Nick is One Month Old!

I just can’t believe I have a one month old already.  Time seems to have flown twice as fast as when Aubrey was the same age, and the difference in these babies is huge.  We have been blessed with a better sleeper this time around, and although he’s “woken up” from being born, he’s still a pretty mellow little man.  We got our first smile today, and it’s just as amazing as it was the first time around.  It seems like he’s getting bigger every day, and I can’t wait to see what progress he’s made when he goes for his 2 month check up next month.  Since there’s not too much else to report, I will just leave you with a few pictures.

 

Just for fun, here's a little comparison to Aubs.  I will try to do this every now and then so that we can see how much they are alike.

 

 

Let Go and Let God

These are words I have heard often at church, but I have had so much trouble practicing them in real life.  Before kids, I was so busy making money and bettering my career that I didn’t take the time to breathe and really listen to what God was telling me to do.  I was Type A all the way, always taking control and very reluctant to let others help me or take something over.  Then my grandfather passed away.  I thought about how I missed the opportunity to let him be a part of my kids lives and I also realized that family was way more important than a raise or a fancy office.  Something in me changed and I realized that I couldn’t be happy maintaining what I had been doing the past few years.  I started to let some things go – and as I began giving that control over, I realized that little by little I was becoming content.

When kids came, I was not the only one worried about how I would react to the situation based on my past behavior.  Would I be anxious all the time, would I constantly be holding myself to some ridiculous super mom standard?  I was a prime candidate for post partum depression.  Surprisingly enough, I became more mellow when Aubrey got here.  Yes, I was very anxious those first couple of months, but the more that we got into a groove, the more at peace that I felt.   I found myself praying more and feeling more in tune with my spirituality.  Having kids has brought me closer to God, which makes me even more thankful that Aubs and Nick are in my life.  I started following my gut more, which has lead to us deciding to have Nick and also to me staying at home – both changes that have proved to be very positive.  Recently, I got a great compliment from someone who told me that I was Type A, but I have learned to let go.  For someone who has struggled with letting go for so long, it was great to hear.

All of that being said, I decided to write this post after bringing a meal to some friends of mine that just had their first baby.  I found myself remembering that anxiety when we first brought Aubrey home and how we constantly were second guessing ourselves when it came to taking care of her.  With Nick, everything seems so much easier.  I think it’s because we just don’t worry as much – we know that babies are stronger than we think and that no matter what we do right now, we can’t spoil him or damage him for life.  I think you just learn to let go of the things that you can’t control, and do the best you can with those things you can control.

I remember the days when Aubrey was teeny tiny and I would be so proud of myself for emptying the dishwasher because I was so afraid to put her down.  This time around, the day Joey headed back to work I managed 2 loads of laundry, cleaning the kitchen and getting dinner ready.  It’s amazing how things change the second time around.  I do still try to find time to snuggle with both of my babies, and I know that it will be a challenge over the next few months to get a best balance for all of us, but I know Nick's going to sleep whether he's on me or in his swing.

I am so grateful to God for how my life has turned out, and I am working every day to honor Him and please Him in how I live my life.

An 18 monther and a 2 weeker…

We are a little over 2 weeks into this two under two adventure, and I have to say, it hasn’t been that bad.  I know that there are going to be tough days ahead when Nick is out of the newborn phase, but so far it has been a pretty positive experience.  Aubrey loves her little brother and is such a great helper.  There are times of course when I have to remind her to have gentle hands and to not be all over him, but for the most part, she loves being a big sister. 

We had her 18 month check up this week, and she is 20lbs, 8ozs and 32 inches tall – the 7^th and 71^st percentiles respectively.  She looked great and didn’t have any signs of the ear infection that she had a couple weeks before.  She’s definitely not a fan of the doctor, but hopefully that will get better as she gets older.  She got a little upset when Nick was being examined, but we put her on the table and let her watch, which calmed her down.  As far as development goes, she’s babbling up a storm and has quite a few more words this month than she did last month.  Those include Nick, cheese, door, doll and ball.  She of course is sticking with “Nooooo” and also says “oh no” which we find to be very cute.

 

Nick was also looking good at his check up, weighing in at 7lbs 9 ozs (1 ounce above birth weight!) and still measuring 21 inches tall.  He has been a great sleeper during the night so far, which is a huge blessing, and he is a pretty mellow kid over all.  He’s taken on well to nursing and is quite the hungry little hippo.  We shall see how he is progressing at his 2 month check in January.

 

I have gotten to get out of the house a couple of times to get some shopping done, and Daddy has been able to give Nick a couple of bottles successfully, which is great news for when I want to get out for a little bit with my fellow moms.  I can’t wait to see how everything goes the next few weeks!

My New Career

As I mentioned before, starting at the beginning of August, Joey and I decided that the best thing for our family right now was for me to stay home with the kiddos.  I have to admit that I was terrified at first of the prospect, although I was trying to be positive since I had been struggling with balancing the career that I have had for five years with the becoming a mom, and having a second child was only making it that much harder, even working part time.  At the end of the day, I didn't feel like I was giving enough of myself to anything I was involved in and I just wasn't fulfilled in any aspect of my life.  The days I had off we filled with trying to catch up with the house work and errands and we couldn't ever nail down a good routine.  Even though I felt that working wasn't for me right now, I wasn't sure that staying at home was going to be what would make me happy either.

Over three months into it and I still have no idea how I really feel about the situation.  Being pregnant and having Joey gone for the majority of the time, along with tons of doctor appointments, I have no idea what our new normal is exactly.  I can’t wait until the next couple of months to see how everything goes and to see if I made the best decision, although just from the experience that I have had, I believe I have made the right decision for us right now.  I have been able to experience so many things with Aubrey, and I love watching how she grows and changes every day.  I can’t tell you how wonderful it has been to just lay in bed with her in the afternoons and read books and take a nap or for her to walk in with her doll and show me how she can feed him.  Those are moments that I’m not going to forget and I’m so glad I got the opportunity to have so much more time with just her than I expected.  As many moms of multiple kids know, especially my two under two mamas, you are constantly worried that you are “robbing” the first child of their time with you.  Lately though, as I have seen Aubrey interact with her cousin and other kids, I think having a baby brother will only enhance her childhood and she will be good for him as well.  I can tell she loves her baby brother, and she has already been a huge help with him.

I must say though, as hard as the past couple months have been, I feel happier than I have in a while.  I don’t miss working as much as I thought I would and I have realized that we really don’t spend as much money as I thought we would, which was a huge concern of mine when deciding what to do about work.  There is a lot more time spent at home or going to the park or visiting with family, and a lot more cooking at home.  Getting onto a budget is not nearly as hard as I thought it would be, and my house is cleaner than I expected it to be.  Everyone that knows me knows that is a huge accomplishment! 

Who wouldn't be happy waking up to this in the mornings…

Hopefully next time I post about this, we will be firmly into our new routine and I will actually get to experience what we had initially planned for. 

Nick’s Room Reveal

The plan was to reveal Nick’s name in this post, but Nick had other plans and decided to join us before we could finish up his room.  We decided on a Dr. Seuss theme, with several DIY elements added in.  We used the same furniture from Aubrey’s room and also kept in her tree decal, with some slight modifications.

Enjoy!

The pictures are canvases that I Mod-Podged pages from Dr. Seuss books on.  We used Green Eggs and Ham and One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish Blue Fish.

The curtains were sewn by my incredibly awesome sister in law.  I'm so thrilled with how they turned out!

We simply removed the pink flowers from the decal and it turned out quite well, we have made the mention that the tree changes with the season that the baby is born in.

Close up of the bedding.

In The Meantime...

It’s been pretty crazy the last few months, at the end of July we went to the beach with Joey’s parents and siblings and then Joey ended up living in Philadelphia for over 2 months finishing up a job.  This left me home with a super energetic toddler and a second pregnancy and ended up kicking my butt physically.  Joey came home on the weekends, and during the week I spent a lot of time with family.  I honestly don’t know what I would have done without them. 

Hanging with Daddy at the Pool

Aubrey and Sam at the beach

My last day of work was August 3^rd, and very soon after that I picked up a little side job at the Craniofacial Foundation.  It’s just twice a month doing some bookkeeping, but it’s going to be a great way to get out of the house and it will give Aubrey some time with Grandma and cousin Sam, who has of late become her partner in crime. 

As far as Aubrey goes, there isn't a week that goes by that she isn't doing something new or doing something that cracks me up.  As of a doctor appointment earlier this week, she’s about 21 pounds and 32 inches long, so still a tall skinny thing, but she makes up for her smallness with a huge personality.  She’s a total ham, and loves to make people laugh.  She’s also been very helpful around the house – she helps clean up after she eats and sometimes even helps with picking up her toys.  Her vocabulary has exploded lately as well.  While a lot of 2 syllable words don’t get pronounced all the way, she has found a way to communicate and get what she wants most of the time.  Daddy and Nana are used often, and Daddy has been the center of her universe since he’s gotten back home.  Sometimes it makes me sad that she’s not as attached to me, but I think it might come in handy over the next couple of months while we are adjusting to Nick being home.

Overall, Aubrey is developing into a sweet, funny, precious kid and I’m so glad that she’s in our family.  She really can brighten up the toughest of days, and although there are some days where everyone’s patience is tried, there are so many more days that feel like an awesome blessing.  I’ll finish up this post with a few pictures from the past couple of months.